What is Lost
by slightlyfrozenspoon
Summary: ...in insecurity can only be built back up bit by bit. Unless you see clearly that there's nothing to be insecure about in the first place, of course. OCs. No Shimon Family. Rating, summary, genres, and characters all subject to change.
1. Prologue

A/N: It's my first KHR fanfic as well as my first OC fanfic... :'D I will do my best!

Disclaimer: I don't own KHR~

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><p>On the shore of a small Russian island that looked rather under-populated, three people apparently waiting to board a small boat stood. Two of them were teenaged girls, and the third member of the trio, tightly clutching the hand of the shorter, Asian one of the girls, was a boy who looked like said girl's relative of some sort and appeared to be around the age of six. They seemed rather antsy, like they had been standing around expecting something for hours.<p>

The boy looked up at the girl he was clinging to and asked in English, "We're leaving here forever?"

She nodded down at him, even though from the way the boy had asked the question it was clear that he already knew the answer. "Yes," she said quietly, but in Chinese, "we're not coming back. Did you leave something behind?"

He shook his head no, and the two went back to staring ahead in silence, waiting for something or someone like they had been doing before.

The other girl, a tall brunette, glanced at them once, briefly, but quickly turned away. 'I don't know them,' she told herself silently. 'That…doesn't have to change, even if we are going to the same destination. Japan…is a country with many places to go. Who knows what they are going there for?'

A few minutes later, their patience paid off. A slender blonde ran across the sand to join them, slightly out of breath and her cheeks rosy from running.

"I apologize for keeping you waiting for so long," she said when she finally regained her composure. When it was clear that nobody cared to hear her excuse, or to even offer a hello, for that matter, the newcomer gave a slight frown and fell silent.

"Let's leave, then," said the brunette. "We're all here, right?"

"Y-yeah, I think so," managed the blond girl, still slightly taken aback by the unfriendliness of her fellow travelers on the journey to Japan.

They boarded the small ship and the blonde took control of it, starting the vessel and its passengers on their way away from the island.

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><p>It was only two minutes after he had woken up, but Tsuna could already tell that he was going to have a bad day. He didn't exactly know why yet, but he had the slightest suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that Reborn seemed even more evilly pleased about something than usual. Tsuna didn't exactly want to ask, but he figured that he'd find out soon enough anyway and that whatever was coming was most likely inevitable, so he went about his business as usual (albeit with dread in his every movement).<p>

"Tsuna," his baby tutor said with his usual adorable (but to Tsuna, frightening) smile as they made their way to the intersection where the tenth generation Vongola met his friends to walk to Namimori Chuu together, "there was mail for you this morning. Two letters, actually."

There was something strangely chilling about the way Reborn had mentioned the letters, leading Tsuna to (correctly) assume that the said messages were Mafia-related. He decided to refrain from responding, hoping in vain that maybe, just maybe, if he didn't say anything, Reborn would drop the subject for once.

Of course, he had no such luck.

"Don't ignore me, Tsuna," said Reborn, while delivering a sharp blow to the teen's head.

"S-sorry!" yelled Tsuna. "Wh-what are those letters?"

Reborn gave no answer, grinning cryptically as always. Tsuna sighed and gave up, not unaccustomed to this kind of treatment from the hitman.

_'Should I be scared?' _Tsuna asked himself silently.

A chill ran down his spine at the thought of all the terrible things the letters could mean, and he decided to put the question on hold. Forever, if he could help it.

Unfortunately for him, he really couldn't.

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><p>Please tell me what you think! :D Reviews and even PMs are greatly appreciated~ Con-crit = cookie + love C: Thanks~<p>

Flames bulk up the review count and I live in a land of free speech so I can't really be bothered to discourage them~ :D


	2. During an Awkward Boat Ride

First things first: Much love and thanks to phoenixflamechimera78, Woopa, No idea, and the nameless Anon~! Thank you for reviewing! (And I'll do my best to not make them Mary Sues. Goodness knows that I hate reading about them so I'm hoping this story doesn't make me more of a hypocrite than I already am XD)

Whoa...it's moving so slowly already XD I am so unorganized in writing...I only know some details and I have no idea how it will get there. But nonetheless, please bear with me, and it'd be great if you want to suggest something! Especially pairings. I am so lost about pairings. Should I pair up an OC with a canon character? Canon pairings? OC pairings? Het? Slash? IDEK ANYMORE. (haha but I got one pairing request already. :D I will keep that in mind; you know who you are.)

...*headdesk* I really want to get to writing the actual KHR! characters...but unfortunately this scene and possibly others like it is/are/will be essential D: But I do like messing around with POV. Some are just better for telling certain aspects of a story than others. If it gets confusing, tell me, and I'll try to make it easier to understand! :D

Disclaimer: I don't own KHR!

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><p>(Brunette POV)<p>

"So, what are your names?" asks the blonde in Russian after a few minutes. We're all sitting inside and watching her steer. There's not much else to do. "I'm Tia," she adds, as if anybody wants to know her name. "Tia Martin."

"Anna Li," says the Asian girl. "This is Kyle, my brother." She gestures at the young boy pressed into her side.

"Selena Taylor," I say quietly, because if I don't, one of them will ask anyway. The silence resumes, and I am glad for it.

Another few minutes later, it is broken again, but by Anna this time. I groan internally, as it seems that peace and quiet is too much to ask for.

"So, why are you guys going to Japan?" she asks. It sounds like she had wanted to ask this question for a long time.

"I want to join the Vongola, of course! Why else would people like us go to Japan?" said Tia excitedly.

She was right, of course. There aren't many other families willing to take in random freelance assassins with nowhere to go and probably not-so-honorable pasts. Everyone knows how gracious and accepting Vongola Primo was, and people are saying that Decimo is like how Primo was in almost every way.

They're also saying that unlike Primo, Decimo is a complete loser. I'm inclined to believe them, but unfortunately I need the Vongola and their power behind me to achieve my goals. I had hoped that the already well-established ninth-generation Family would back me, but they had told me to find Decimo. It was a minor setback, but Vongola is Vongola.

It takes me a while to realize that Anna is now looking past Tia, at me. I give a quick nod in agreement.

"So I guess we're all going to see the Decimo of legend, huh?" Anna gives a half-hearted attempt at lightening the mood. She doesn't seem very social to begin with, and the effort appears to take a heavy emotional toll on her. For some reason I can't explain, I have to suppress a smile at the thought.

Her Russian is accented but fluent, and I try to place the accent. It seems to be American; somewhere on the West coast. Probably California, like me, I think. Li can be either Korean or Chinese, and I can't judge from her features because she looks both.

Tia's accent is flawless, but she doesn't seem to be Eastern European. I find that I can't place her features and give up. Besides, she's blonde. If she catches me staring she might get the wrong idea or something.

I'm not bitter. Of course not.

There's nothing else for me to do, and after deciding that the chances of my companions randomly deciding to kill me are kind of slim, I let myself fall into a light sleep to pass the time.

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><p>(Anna POV)<p>

Selena is sleeping. I am glad for that, because she was looking at me and Tia like she was analyzing the very stuff that we are made of.

Kyle is staring at the ocean going by. I wonder what he is thinking, and if he has come up with an answer to my question from the other day yet. I feel scared to find out, but it is his choice, not mine. Maybe he is angry that I am forcing him to choose. Maybe he does not understand exactly why we are going to Japan. Either way, he has every right to be mad at me. The thought terrorizes me, and I think of Matthew, who always could get me to relax.

'Matthew would know,' I think, trying to reassure myself. 'I will simply ask-'

And then I remember that I am supposed to call him Matt. Just Matt, is what he told me. Matthew sounds too formal for friends, apparently. That is what he said, and I believe him.

Also, I remember that I cannot talk to Matt anymore. I have not talked to him for years, though I saw him four days ago. I wonder if he saw me, through the window of the supermarket he was in. I wonder why he moved to Los Angeles from San Francisco.

I miss Matt. I wonder if he misses me.

I remember one last thing: Matt always said that the best way to find out something about somebody is to ask them. But I cannot very well ask Kyle if he is angry at me now, with these strangers next to me. So I squeeze his hand lightly and try my best to communicate my question within the motion. He turns and smiles at me.

Ever since I left home and Matt, the only smile that I have seen reach the eyes of the person smiling is Kyle's.

I realize then that Kyle cannot see his own smile, and I hope that maybe my smiles are genuine too.

It is unlikely, though. The only thing I have not been doing half-heartedly as of late is killing.

I hope for Kyle's sake that the members of the Vongola family smile a lot. I hope they mean it every single time.

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><p>;A; Trying to update regularly is going to kill me. I just know it. Nonetheless, I will do my best, as always. Constructive criticism is love~ But I'm not going to lie; any kind of review suits me just fine, really: be it questions, suggestions, ranting, or something else. :D<p> 


	3. Because of Two Vague Letters

This is...rly, rly short D: OTL I was soooo excited to write the actual characters, too, and then...yeah. XD Also, my 1st person POV really needs work (Thanks to kyrikyogre and No idea for your suggestions on the subject!). XD So back I slip into my comfort zone. :D

Many, many thanks to: phoenixflamechimera78, kyrikyogre, No idea, and the nameless Anon! :D (I'm so glad I allowed anonymous reviews... :'D) AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO KEEP THE CHARACTERS NON-SUE! Thank you for your support. :D

(Off topic but 100 views exactly XD I'm excited for some reason. :'D)

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR!

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><p>(3rd person POV)<p>

Tsuna was beginning to wonder if the only reason Reborn had told him about the letters was to make him suffer with apprehension for the entire day.

He thought it wouldn't be so bad if that was the case, actually, and the letters turn out to be nothing of importance.

He was in the middle of daydreaming about how great it would be if the letters were just more reparation bills from local businesses that someone he knew managed to destroy or something and taking a bite of his lunch when Reborn showed up with Ryohei and Kyoko. There were two envelopes in his hand, causing Tsuna's first reaction to be to panic.

"Hiiiiieee! Reborn! Don't drag Kyoko into this!" he exclaimed, limbs flailing.

The Sasagawa siblings sat down as Reborn began re-opening one of the envelopes, not even bothering to look at Tsuna as he said calmly, "No-Good Tsuna, all of your family should hear this."

Tsuna frowned, about to protest, but decided against it. If he wanted Kyoko's trust, he reasoned, he needed to trust her. He had learned that in the future (which sounds really paradoxical out of context).

Reborn began to read aloud from the piece of paper he had extracted from the longer one of the two envelopes, which was plain and cheap-looking in contrast to the creamy paper of the other.

"A north wind blows your way," he read. "From Ostrov." The baby looked up and smiled. "This will be a good opportunity for you, Tsuna," he said, obviously pleased with whatever message the short letter was supposed to convey.

Tsuna's expression changed from one of confusion to one of alarm at Reborn's comment. "O-Ostrov?" he repeated, trying to find meaning in the foreign word. "Wh-what's that?"

Reborn smiled at his student (evilly). "It means 'island' in Russian."

"That didn't answer my question at all!"

"It will," was all he said before reading the second letter. "It's from Vongola Nono. 'As the tenth generation Vongola Family, you must be responsible tomorrow for the actions you make today, and those made yesterday, as well. As such, act with caution. I trust you to make beneficial decisions,' he says." Reborn looked around at Gokudera, Yamamoto, Ryohei, and Kyoko, and ended with a pointed glance at Tsuna. "Take care not to let the old man down."

Then, he stood and folded the letters, returning them to their respective envelopes, which he tucked into his suit. "This north wind," he said quietly as he turned to disappear off to heaven-knows-where, "will chill you to the bone unless you tame it. Take responsibility for yesterday, and tame it." The tiny hitman jumped off the roof and left the teenagers behind, wondering if he had been speaking to them at all.

Tsuna's brow furrowed in confusion and worry. "Whatever this 'north wind' is, it sounds dangerous," he mumbled. "Why is everything so dangerous? Why can't we all be safe and happy and _stay that way_? And for once, why can't Reborn just tell us everything?"

Yamamoto grinned. "I'm sure the kid has his reasons," he said soothingly. "We can trust him."

"We'll go through it together, Tenth!" exclaimed Gokudera.

Tsuna sighed. "I guess you guys are right..." _'I hope you guys are right.'_

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><p>(In a rather special book)<em><br>_

_The sky is burning._

_Literally, the high sky that had overseen our every meeting, argument, and shared moment is crumbling beneath tongues of fire. The ceiling of our great hall is aflame._

_People are aflame._

_Our family is aflame._

_Boss is aflame._

_I tried, honest. But he smiled ever so peacefully, gave up because the fight was over, and told me to live. Find a pretty wife, he said, and be happy. How he could do that while slowly being burned to death is beyond me._

_Can I, though? Can I follow his instruction?_

_I'll have to try, at least._

…

_I hear there are many beautiful women in the Orient._

_I think it's worth a shot._

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><p>Reviews, especially con-crit, are highly valued! Any kind of feedback is, in fact! C:<em><br>_


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